Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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