I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize