video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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