I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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