hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
