It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
