She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
