i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
