Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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