If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
