Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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