i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
