Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
