You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
