so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
