break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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