yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
