Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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