He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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