It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
