i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
