He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Randomize
