i was born a porn star she said
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
