I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
