i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
