another moral hangover. fuck.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
