Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I look excited, but its just a facade.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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