I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
