You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
