You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
