Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
