I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
