Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We have so much sex to catch up on
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
