She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
