I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
