Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
