how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It was confusing and full of hummus
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
