no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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