After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
