So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
