he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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