i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
