Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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