i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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