apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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