I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
