There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Who died my cat blue again?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
