there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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