I think I am morally bankrupt
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
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