your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
