What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
