I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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