hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
